Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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