I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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