just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
