my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
there is glitter all over my balls
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