Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
