I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
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you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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