We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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