i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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