Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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