"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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