Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
