totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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