so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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