I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Someone came in the potted fern
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
