i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
