my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No I am not eating basil off your cock
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
