How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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