I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
