Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
well you can't waste a boner
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
