u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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