Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
