if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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