Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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  (248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now http://tfl.nu/naz7
  Replies (3) Good night (3284) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating

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  (440): I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating http://tfl.nu/7lhs
  Replies (24) Good night (6237) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11813) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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  (207): Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight... http://tfl.nu/a8ub
  Replies (25) Good night (3767) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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  (517): I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night http://tfl.nu/lvdh
  Replies (5) Good night (1654) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.

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  (712): Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field. http://tfl.nu/ntdj
  Replies (6) Good night (1971) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom

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  (815): I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom http://tfl.nu/3qo4
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

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  (912): Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say http://tfl.nu/bgnm
  Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the essentials, lol

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  (306): he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer. (1-306): the essentials, lol http://tfl.nu/fcrf
  Replies (0) Good night (801) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.

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  (440): You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids? (330): Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice. http://tfl.nu/lps6
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lord god protect this child

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  (770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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  (406): That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ierd
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.

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  (248): I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today. http://tfl.nu/eqo1
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?

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  (314): Who put the meatball sub on my door handle? http://tfl.nu/3y9a
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.

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  (251): I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit. http://tfl.nu/0e3a
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (131)

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