Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (838) Bad night (3508) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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  (606): you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later http://tfl.nu/ipo7
  Replies (26) Good night (1704) Bad night (4698) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.

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  (309): ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet. http://tfl.nu/oxv5
  Replies (12) Good night (5738) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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  (937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu
  Replies (10) Good night (2455) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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  (517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam
  Replies (7) Good night (1181) Bad night (3167) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

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  (334): I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call. http://tfl.nu/huax
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (1934) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock

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  (856): Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock http://tfl.nu/vedt
  Replies (7) Good night (1256) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.

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  (204): Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water. http://tfl.nu/bq5w
  Replies (3) Good night (1607) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (1831) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

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  (916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1563)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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  (513): One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that? http://tfl.nu/b48m
  Replies (4) Good night (1228) Bad night (367)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.

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  (972): Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday. http://tfl.nu/3qlk
  Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I died last night.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah, you got carried home

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  (708): I think I died last night. (414): Yeah, you got carried home http://tfl.nu/8211
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (152)
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  (310): View more from California

  Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...

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  (310): Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right... http://tfl.nu/uva3
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt

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