Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
