Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US

(703): View more from Virginia

It's the American dream

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(518): View more from New York

She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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(941): View more from Florida

Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

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(714): View more from California

Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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(318): View more from Louisiana

my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.

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