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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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• (805): View more from California

  We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been sober in 4 days.

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  Then be sober

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.

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• (909): View more from California

  He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.

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