Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order

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  (858): he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order http://tfl.nu/kgbm
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (1966)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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  (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby
  Replies (18) Good night (3815) Bad night (812)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.

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  (405): If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over. http://tfl.nu/i8gt
  Replies (10) Good night (674) Bad night (3643)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  why can't you just be normal

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  (815): have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u? (1-815): why can't you just be normal http://tfl.nu/06xb
  Replies (78) Good night (4799) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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  (410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad
  Replies (25) Good night (4314) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday

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  (573): Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday http://tfl.nu/e47n
  Replies (7) Good night (4412) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.

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  (540): amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check. http://tfl.nu/o1ir
  Replies (10) Good night (990) Bad night (3626)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4294) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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  (541): I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me. http://tfl.nu/2bgd
  Replies (9) Good night (2786) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college

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  (650): Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college http://tfl.nu/e5ta
  Replies (1) Good night (1348) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'

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  (705): I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him' http://tfl.nu/4xts
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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  (307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.

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  (505): We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it. http://tfl.nu/o399
  Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.

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  (289): Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player. http://tfl.nu/90yv
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

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  (650): I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there http://tfl.nu/bqch
  Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (224)

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