Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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  (415): i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world. http://tfl.nu/0s72
  Replies (45) Good night (5437) Bad night (935)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/pxco
  Replies (11) Good night (2985) Bad night (1011)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
  Replies (60) Good night (840) Bad night (18001)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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  (847): can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at... http://tfl.nu/sgdp
  Replies (44) Good night (803) Bad night (7390)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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  (724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s
  Replies (19) Good night (6317) Bad night (868)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (8988) Bad night (978)
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  (650): View more from California

  Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

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  (650): Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th http://tfl.nu/8el9
  Replies (16) Good night (2129) Bad night (4463)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

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  (970): But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/821r
  Replies (27) Good night (2837) Bad night (1405)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

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  (774): If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" (774): It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?" http://tfl.nu/cbil
  Replies (8) Good night (2618) Bad night (683)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (525) Bad night (1098)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

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  (715): i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/dafx
  Replies (0) Good night (936) Bad night (309)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -

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  (973): That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan - http://tfl.nu/yuzz
  Replies (5) Good night (284) Bad night (588)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.

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  (727): Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes. http://tfl.nu/6vbt
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (479)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit

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  (907): who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit http://tfl.nu/vaby
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (355)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.

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  (508): The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids. http://tfl.nu/p5pk
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (434)

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