Your tits are I can't wait for
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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