Yo dont text me then not text me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
