Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
