i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
