I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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