Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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