she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
