if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize