We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
