i permit you to call me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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