Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
