I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i out mim tonsoeep
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