Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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