Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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