he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
