he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
