I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
