6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
