woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
