I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
