I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
