it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
