so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
