Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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