the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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