We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
