And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
