sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
