We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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