I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize