ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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