just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
try to milk me bitch
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