I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
