Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
