come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
