just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
