You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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