my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
