I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
