is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
