i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
