I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
