I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
